it has been a month since the last post. a long month. many thgings had passed. my range is over. my field camp is over. my sit test is over. almost half the bmt is over. now whats left is the GLT and 16 & 24 km route marches and SOC. short. time really flies...
was talking to charlene over icq last night. somehow, talk talk talk, talk till the topic of PMS. nope, not the usual pms but the special pms => Parents Meeting Session. was saying how anxiety and shyness can cause one to shun from it. talked about expeirneces... then i thought abt it... i wonder why too... it has been one year and almost five months... why is there still this barrier? i wonder when can this barrier be erased. i know it may take time, but i got this uneasy feeling inside me. perhaps just need some confidence of some sort. even entering the house when it is empty is avoided. i wonder what will happen when there are 2 60 yr old pple in the house welcoming the girl... it just seems to haunt me. something just missing from this whole beautiful picture. no, in fact, it is 2 beautiful pictures. why cant the bridge be drawn up linking the 2 beautiful pictures into one good one? time may be the factor... but is the gap that wide and requires soooo much time?
grouchy mood. booking in soon. enjoying life inside, but given a choice, i wouldnt opt for it. just trying to make the best out of everything. aint it just so impt? why live in misery? but, given an alternative which proves better, why wont you want it?
just feeling frustrated... the smile on my face is wearing off... i feel jaded.
jaded.